Therapy Has Changed The Way I See 'Healing'

You'll never be "fully-healed".

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Raise your hand if you once thought that healing is a finite journey that has a beginning, middle, and end—that you’ll start your life again, once you reach that destination.

Me too.

Therapy has really changed my idea of what healing is and what it means to me. I’ve spent the better part of the last 3 years really working on myself. Reading books, going to therapy, and cutting out parts of my life that no longer served me. I did all this because I wanted to heal. I wanted to understand my trauma and fix it.

I’ve always been a solution-oriented person, almost to a fault. If you present me with a problem, I’m instantly trying to figure out how I can fix it. This is how I’ve faced most things in my life (for better or for worse). So for me, realizing that I couldn’t just fix my own problems—the anxiety, depression, and trauma responses—just exasperated the issues.

I’m slowly coming to realize that Miley Cyrus was wise beyond her years. It really is all about the climb (haha). The real cruel joke is that you’ll never be “fully healed”. You may get to a point where you can stop going to therapy and stop buying self-help books. But healing is a life-long journey. It’s an essential part of your life that you’ll work on til the day you die. You’ll do this because it’s what pushes you forward and helps you grow.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’ll never make progress. You’ll feel better, day after day and you’ll work through deeply-rooted issues that cause you so much discomfort. Some days you’ll feel invincible, other days not so much. But you’ll feel and notice your progress every year.

I’ve also realized that healing is not about the breakthrough moments where something life-changing happens and you feel drastically different and better. The little things help as well. In fact, it’s the little things that become the building blocks that help you get to those breakthrough moments. It’s the work that you put in daily—getting out of bed, journaling, reading, sticking with your routine, eating a healthy meal, drinking that one extra cup of water… The consistency of showing up for yourself every day is how you progress.

When you first come to this realization, it may feel exhausting. You have enough on your plate and adding a lifelong to-do makes you feel hopeless. Slowly but surely, you’ll reach acceptance. My newfound understanding about healing is now what inspires me and pushes me to continue moving forward. It’s not about how much motivation you have every day because no one has endless motivation and energy. It’s about the intention of growing as a human. Letting that intention pull you onwards.