The art of doing nothing
Some lessons & insights into how I have the perfect 'nothing nights'.
Why is doing nothing so hard for so many of us?
We fill our schedules with work, dinners, and gatherings, packing our calendars week after week. If that makes you feel fulfilled and recharged, power to you! But I’ve quickly learned that the days when I don’t schedule anything are the days that leave me feeling the most recharged.
Call me an introvert—or maybe just a Taurus—but despite my newfound obsession, learning how to do nothing wasn’t easy. It took me years to unlearn the instinct to fill every moment, and even now, it’s still something I have to practice.
You may be thinking, Angel, what are you talking about? Doing nothing is doing nothing! Why do you need to learn how to do it? I wondered the same myself. But after catching myself feeling restless, anxious, and even stressed during days with empty schedules, I decided to dig a little deeper.
There was a study done in 2014 where a group of adults were left alone in a room for 6 to 15 minutes with only a device that could administer a small electric shock. It doesn’t sound like a long time, right? Yet, 67% of men and 25% of women voluntarily shocked themselves rather than sit alone with their thoughts. Another study confirmed similar results—95% of participants would rather engage in something, anything, than sit quietly and reflect.
Why? Because being alone with our thoughts can be uncomfortable. Many of us are trying to avoid stimulus-independent thought—the kind of mind-wandering that isn’t tied to our surroundings or immediate sensory input. It’s when you reflect, daydream, or let your thoughts flow freely. While this type of thinking is important for creativity and problem-solving, it’s also when unresolved worries, anxieties, and self-doubt can creep in.
This explains why we often reach for our phones or turn on the TV the moment we have downtime. We’ve grown so accustomed to constant stimulation that we’ve forgotten how to sit with ourselves.
My journey to loving ‘nothing nights’
About three years ago, I made it my mission to overcome this discomfort. At first, I was hoping it would help with my attention span (it did) and spark more creative ideas (it does). But along the way, I discovered a deeper joy in being alone without distractions. Through many nights spent at home—no plans, no scrolling, no shows—I found myself embracing little rituals that now make doing nothing feel like a luxury instead of a stressor.
If you’re looking to have more downtime and learn how to be alone without a schedule, here’s my personal list of activities that have helped me fall in love with nothing nights.
Cozy reading nights
There’s something magical about having no commitments, a new book on hand, and a warm beverage. (I like tea in the evenings and coffee in the mornings). If you don’t enjoy fiction, try a self-help or business book, or even dive into blogs or long-form articles. Beyond being relaxing, reading longer pieces can help retrain your attention span.
Goal setting & planning
I love a good goal-setting session, often sprawled out on my daybed with notebooks strewn about and Pinterest or Notion open. Whether it’s getting crafty and creating a vision board for the quarter, season, or year; or journaling some intentions and ambitions for the next phase—these nights always leave me feeling motivated and inspired the next day.
Pro tip: bring snacks!
Grocery shop & cook a home-cooked meal
Making yourself a delicious meal is such a romantic self-love gesture. I’ll usually have this planned in the AM so that I can leave time to slowly browse all the aisles of my local grocery store, get home and prep with music and a candle, and cook myself a candlelit dinner that I’ll enjoy with a book. Some of my go-to dishes to make are mushroom risotto with roasted vegetables on the side or a hearty pasta meal like amatriciana.
Even if you’re not regularly someone who loves cooking, there is something so rewarding and rejuvenating about feeding yourself. My tip for my anxious chefs? Take your time. Have all of your seasonings measured and prep done first before you start cooking so you don’t have to multitask.
Self-care nights
I never skip my unwind routine: shower, skincare, body lotion. It signals to my body that it’s time for rest, and I always sleep better afterward. On self-care nights, I go the extra mile—applying face masks, using my red-light therapy mask, or giving myself a mani-pedi.
Bonus points: Set the mood with candles and warm lighting. The big light is forbidden on self-care nights.
Try something new
Some of the calmest nights I’ve had were the nights I decided to just try something new. Buy a canvas and some paints and try your hand at painting. When was the last time you completed a puzzle or completed a lego set? Or heck, spend the evening doing the puzzles that the New York Times app has (thank you Summer for putting me on).
The point of nothing nights is to do something you don’t usually do. Maybe you already have self-care nights or reading nights, or creative nights. Do something you haven’t done in a long time or something you’ve never done. Beyond just giving your brain a break, nothing nights should also just be fun. Play for the sake of playing. Rest for the sake of resting. I promise you it’ll be great.
Okay, yes. Doing nothing doesn’t necessarily mean you have to stare blankly at the wall. Nothing nights are an art form, a practice of letting go of the need to constantly perform or achieve. By leaning into these moments of quiet and simplicity, I’ve found more clarity, creativity, and fulfillment than I ever did by packing my days (or nights) full. And trust me—once you get the hang of it, you’ll start to wonder how you ever lived any other way
Candles and lamps really set the mood