February
February was a month of reseting and reframing for me. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so mentally clear so I tried to take advantage of that positive feeling as much as possible. I finished my diet and acupuncture program (detailed article coming soon!) half way through February and have really just been trying to build on the healthy momentum as much as possible. Along with a healthier diet, I’m proud to say that I’ve finally gotten back onto a consistent fitness routine! Having a fitness routine has been something I’ve struggled with for years so it’s probably one of my proudest accomplishments of the month.
It’d be mendacious for me to say I didn’t have my tough moments this month. There were still quite a few days where I felt myself dropping back into the same “rushed” feeling—like I was losing control of time and watching it slip by while feeling frustrated about the lack of control. In other words, I started to slip back into the grasps of chronic stress and felt every sign pointing towards overwhelm. The difference between this month and the many months I felt this last year was I caught it right away—my neck and shoulder pain coming back, skin feeling prickly, losing track of my days. And although I still lost a few days here and there to the feeling, overall I was able to prevent a full-on spiral. Another thing I have on my gratitude list for the month.
To learn is to unlearn and I know there are still plenty more days ahead where I’ll fall to the same patterns. However, February felt like the start of something new. A real beginning compared to my traumatic start to the year. For the first time this year, I’m looking forward to the change ahead and learning how to relinquish control in order to stay flexible to life’s demands.
I hope March brings us both more self-reflection, growth, and comfort—all things I think we need more of this year.
Reading
The Songbird & the Heart of Stone by Carissa Broadbent - The third book in the Crowns of Nyaxia series brings us into the underworld. I can feel that Broadbent really tapped into her creativity with this one and that alone made this book a joy. On it’s own, I didn’t think it was the best in the series however I’m still excited to read the second part of the House of Shadow story.
Bright Young Woman by Jessica Knoll - Please read the trigger-warnings before you take on this read. It was a welcome change to explore criminal cases from the minds of the victim’s friends and family. However, this triggered emotional reactions I wasn’t expecting. How often do we pause to think about the trauma that gets brought up again for those who were close to the victims?
Like Happiness by Ursula Villarreal-Moura - I breezed through this book this month. Deeply explores the misuse of power dynamics in relationships specifically looking at characteristics and personalities that are drawn to these relationships.
Play It As It Lays - Joan Didion - I actually started this last year but had to put it aside because it was adding to the aforementioned chronic stress episodes. Funny that I decided to pick it back up now but I enjoyed it so much more. It’s bleak—so be warned. However, it leaves you thinking about it for days, which in my books, marks great writing.
Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg - Beyond just providing a ton of amazing insights and actionable tips for deeper communication, I actually really enjoyed the supporting examples. Usually I skim those parts in non-fiction but Duhigg did a really great job with his stories in this one.
Watching
Singles Inferno S4 - Was anyone else on this train with me? I’m usually not a huge dating show girl but Singles Inferno is always a fun time especially because so many of my friends watch it. Theo was honestly my favorite man of the season and Si an was my favorite woman. I won’t spoil anything but man did that one scene between them hurt.
Severance - This show is phenomenal but one I had to pause in the latter half of the month because it was adding to the dark and stressful feelings I was having. Will be continuing this one in March.
Inheritance - Loved seeing Lily Collins in a more serious role although it seems like “wound up, privileged girl” remains her personal brand in acting. Definitely a tense thriller and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
Ladybird - I didn’t love this one! Which I was kind of shocked about. Did anyone else find it a bit misleading that Timmy Tim was on the cover on Netflix yet he’s in about 15% of the movie?
La Dolce Villa - A good ol’ cheesy hallmark movie. Considering a move to Italy has been my dream (one that I’m working towards feverishly) for years, I kind of suspected I would love this one.
Listening
Beware of Pity by Stefan Zweig - Currently listening to this in audiobook form. I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect going in but this book has inspired me to read more classics this year. It explores the many forms that pity takes place and one specific case in which where a young lieutenant starts to build an interesting relationship with a nobleman’s daughter with disabilities.
Making
I’ve always loved working with my hands which explains why so many of my hobbies outside of work are ones where I do just that. Yes, I created videos this month (as I always do) but beyond that I started to work on my hobbies outside of work as well. Here’s what I made this month:
Bread
Honestly I don’t know where this desire came from because I could’ve very well gone out to my favorite bakery to grab their garlic loaf. But coming out of my diet, I started to wonder what the bread-making process entailed. So down the rabbit hole I went and in February I made 2 garlic loaves and my very first sourdough loaf (from my very own sourdough starter, Bertha!)
Videos
I’ve rediscovered my love for vlogging this month (it’s where I started after all) so I’ve been showing the most TLC to my vlog channel of the same name. If you don’t yet follow me on there, please do! I’d love to grow it to a place where I can put more focus into creating intentional vlogs for you. This is my audition to becoming your new comfort Youtuber!
Hemming my own jeans!
This one has actually been on my to-do list for a while but I finally learned how to hem my own denim. I ended up hemming 6 pairs of denim over the weekend which has definitely made me rethink what clothes I will be keeping and what clothes I can get more use out of.
Loving
Writing - I don’t know what’s gotten into me this month but I’ve been craving writing more than ever before. It’s such a therapeutic act for me and I’d love to improve my writing more in the process. This newsletter has definitely been a great source of motivation for me so thank you for being a part of my journey 💌
Reading classics - I’ve been trying to dive into more timeless pieces over the past year with varying success. I’m still working my way through Crime and Punishment (I’m determined to finish it) but I have been finding more authors that feel like an easier entry point into the world of classics. Hoping to branch out more this year and explore this new (old?) category of books. Let me know if you want me to share more of my classic reads!
Improving vocabulary - In relation to the last point, reading classics has me thinking about my vocabulary. I definitely find myself searching up words more and I’ve started to note any new words I’m learning in my reading journal. I’d love to grow my vocabulary further, especially in my writing.
Reading critically - As someone who switched to a technical institution after my first year of university, I sometimes wished that I had given myself more time to explore university courses that interests me. One being english and another being creative writing. I actually started a reading journal for the first time so that I can record any thoughts I have around the theme, character development, and overall plot as I’m reading. I might work on a separate article on how I’m learning to read more critically.
Here are some articles that I loved on the topic of reading more deeply
Snapping
What a heartwarming recap! I genuinely sense the self love and care vibes radiating through this. I will definitely be checking out your YouTube! Also that garlic bread looks divine.