Book notes: The last city in the summer & more
Cheering for the unexpected MCs.
Book reviews to me are like an intimate look into someone else’s thoughts and emotions. Everyone will experience a story differently based on their own experiences and beliefs. ‘Book Notes’ is a series where I talk about the books I read, what I thought, and how it made me feel. If you’ve read any of the books listed below, I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments too. Let’s get to know each other 💭
Last summer in the city by Gianfranco Calligarich
She was bravely trying to keep a smile on her lips, but every time she turned to look at me it fell to earth before reaching me.
From the smile she gave me, anybody would have thought she’d spent the whole evening waiting for me. It was a smile that isolated the person it was addressed to, raising him to heights he would never have suspected he could conquer. A smile like a blow to the head, in which only one thing remained unequivocal. That she didn’t give a damn about you.
The best way I can describe this book is by saying think The Bell Jar but from a man’s perspective and set in the blazing heat of a summer in Rome. First of all, Calligarich’s writing in this was so incredibly romantic, even when describing feelings so isolating it’d bring a shiver down my spine.
The book follows Leo as he navigates his feelings about having a purposeless life. There’s this one scene where Leo meets up with his friend Graziano, who has a line that I feel encompasses the main theme of the book: “Is there anything you feel part of? No, there isn’t. And you know why there isn’t? Because we belong to an extinct spieces. We happen to be alive, that’s all.” He then goes on to describe how being born from parents of war, there’s this “in-between” sense where you feel neither here nor there.
“And what about us? We were an ugly memory, survivors of the slaughter, and we just had to be content with the leftovers.”
In a similar way as The Bell Jar, Leo subconsciously rejects the opportunities he’s given likely as a projection of his internal discourse about who he is and who he wants to be. Instead of seeing all the different possibilities and feeling paralyzed by the excess of choice, he wanders blindly away from possible paths forward almost as if he doesn’t see them as paths at all.
What it’s like in words by Eliza Moss
“Everything here is mine. The beaded cushions on the sofa. The vase on the table. The color-coded books in the bookshelf. I chose them. I paid for them. I placed them. This was my space. My home. But then he made fun of my cushions, he bought me flowers for that vase, he teased me about the books in the bookshelf. Now everything mine has become his, and I’m not sure when or how that happened. Amy’s house is full of photographs of her and David, but I don’t have any photographs of us, so our memories are in the items. I thought that made the relationship more intimate, but Ruth said it was because he never viewed it as a real relationship. And yet, if the police dusted, they would find his prints everywhere.”
“But having him here dominated my thoughts. I was always on high alert, like I was afraid to concentrate on something that wasn’t him.”
“I didn’t recognize myself, but I still felt seen.”
Enola is haunted by what was and what could’ve been. Her father passed away when she was young and she felt like her mother didn’t step up to the parental role. This trauma of abandonment on both ends leads her into a toxic relationship that she becomes addicted to. As her life spirals further and further out of control, Enola has to decide: what relationships are worth giving ourself up for?
I had a tough time reading this without constantly drawing parallels or trying to use the text to understand my past experiences. If you’ve ever been in a manipulative and toxic relationship, you’ll likely do the same. It’s one of those stories that almost makes you feel embarrassed about the experiences you’ve had because how much more textbook could they get?
So needless to say, my feelings while reading this varied from frustrated, to angry, to enjoyment, and then ultimately…to confusion?
I loved that Enola’s character arch reached a good place but something about the ending left me feeling unsatisfied and wanting more.
Villette by Charlotte Brontë
“To see and know the worst is to take from Fear her main advantage.”
“But afterwards, is there nothing more for me in life - no true home - nothing to be dearer to me than myself?”
I listened to Villette as an Audiobook which I’ve been doing more of lately but I hate that I can’t annotate or highlight. Still trying to figure out the best way to record my thoughts on Audiobooks especially since I usually listen to Audiobooks while I’m driving, walking, or doing things around the house.
Villette has one of my favorite classic FMCs (female main character) so far, Lucy Snowe. She has this hyper-independence that either makes you want to pull your hair out or cheer on passionately from the sidelines. Despite her cold and withdrawn personality making her feel like an unreliable narrator, you can’t help but love her.
After losing her family to an unspecified incident, Lucy decides to leave her home country, England, and build a new life for herself. Her journey leads her to Villette where she works at Madame Beck’s all-girls school and from here, her life begins despite the language barrier and the personality clashes she has with the students and the stern headmistress. I personally loved the pacing in which new characters were introduced and each one added to Lucy’s world in an unexpected way.
This story is not a happy one and does not end in joy. However, you’re left with a certain satisfaction because everything is wrapped up in a way that feels irrevocable.
I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve read any of these books.